Are we bored, or just uncomfortable without our phones?

ARTICLE

1 March 2025

4 min read

Embracing life away from tech is easier said than done. Dr Jaime Lee explores our device-dependency and how ‘boredom’ is the answer.

I have quite a detached relationship with my phone, often leaving it behind when I go for a walk or spend time in my garden, keeping it in my bag while I’m out for dinner with friends. The high-pitched notification ding or seeing notifications pop up on the screen used to take my attention, even momentarily, from the activity I’m engaged in and I found it distracting and at times stressful. So I made some lifestyle choices early on to keep my phone away until I need it. I realised that while I needed to use my phone, it shouldn’t be using me.

My experience isn’t uncommon. Most of us admit to reaching for our phone, even when we don’t have a need for it. So, how can we create healthy boundaries with our devices and enjoy life without them?

Attention is power

Nowadays, it feels like everyone wants our attention, and technology is the quickest way to get it. While some of this time is valid and important—like texting a friend—having our attention constantly fragmented can draw us away from our inner selves. We can become so dependent on mobile devices that the idea of being left to our own devices is uncomfortable. Which begs the question: when everything around us is designed to hold our attention, where are our minds left to wander?

Why tech is so hard to put down

It is, by design, addictive. In fact, a 2017 study¹ found that smartphones—even when they're not in your hand but still in the same room—can demand our attention. So why do we keep reaching for them?

We like new things. Having a constant stream of new information and entertainment at our fingertips is an exciting prospect we inherently want to experience.
We crave connection. As our society becomes more isolated and individualist, our need for connection is stronger than ever. Tech is a simple way to maintain this need.
We get a dopamine fix. The satisfying sound of a swoosh when you send an email, the bright colours of a screen—every part of technology is designed to feel good.
We welcome distraction. Like meditating, sitting with our thoughts without any external stimulation can be hard. We realise our minds are inherently empty, not full of digital pings and episodic entertainment.

Are we bored, or just uncomfortable?

There have been countless times I’ve picked up my phone, scrolled for several minutes and then realised that I’m not present to the here and now.

Part of our screen reliance is a neurologically wired habit. We’ve repeated the act so many times, it’s become second nature. The more we reach for technology rather than resist it, the more uncomfortable we feel without it.

This raises a second point: we’re not exactly bored without our phones as we are uncomfortable with stillness.

Breaking the cycle

Looking at my own behaviour from a logical perspective has helped me understand my own phone, use without the unnecessary judgement.

Stop. Ask yourself: why are you reaching for your phone? Do you need it for something?
Reflect. What are you thinking and feeling in this moment? Are you stressed, tried, or simply unsure what to do?
Act. Reframe your thought as an opportunity to do something else. Get up, go for a walk and do something that gets you away from your device.

4 ways to lean into stillness

Practise mindfulness. Sitting with yourself gets easier (and more comfortable) with practise. Taking 3 deep breaths can help calm the nervous system and centre your attention before you step into the next thing.
Write things down. When my mind gets full of clutter, I like to put pen to paper. Free journalling can help us to process our thoughts and move on, as opposed to reaching for a distraction from the inside noise.
Get creative. Boredom is creativity’s secret sauce. Allowing our minds to wander can spark new ideas, help us relax, and allow us to move creative energy in fun ways. Painting and gardening are my go-to outlets.
Make small changes. Creating better boundaries can help you become a more conscious screen-user. Removing push notifications and keeping my phone in another room during meals and hobbies have helped me.

Making small changes to your screen time can be an uncomfortable adjustment at first, but embracing time away from your phone gives you more time to enjoy the things that make life so wonderful.

References

¹Parasuraman S., Sam A. T., Yee S., Chuon B., Ren L. Y. (2017). Smartphone usage and increased risk of mobile phone addiction: a concurrent study. Int. J. Pharm. Investig. 7 125–131.

Dr. Jaime Lee

Dr. Jaime Lee is the Founder and CEO of Health Quotient, a company dedicated to transforming workplaces around the world by inspiring individual health and whole organisational renewal through leadership keynotes, workshops and mentoring. With experience as a medical doctor, public health specialist, corporate strategist, speaker and facilitator, Dr. Jaime works with global companies to help them sustain high performance teams in an integrated and healthy way.

Disclaimer:
Copyright © 2025 AIA Australia Limited (ABN 79 004 837 861 AFSL 230043). This is general information only, without taking into account factors like the objectives, financial situation, needs or personal circumstances of any individual and is not intended to be financial, legal, tax, medical, nutritional, health, fitness or other advice. The source information of the articles is current as of the date of publication and may be subject to change. While the information contained herein is believed to be accurate, AIA Australia expressly disclaims any and all liability for representations or warranties, expressed or implied, contained in, or for omissions from, the information.

Share

This inspirational content is brought to you by AIA Vitality

AIA Vitality is a science-backed program that helps you learn more about your health,
offers ways to improve it and motivates you with rewards along the way.

Stay in touch

Thank you!

Sign up to receive a monthly email featuring articles on health and wellbeing to help you live a healthier, longer, better life.

You have registered for the Content Hub newsletter with all our latest articles on health and wellness information for a healthier, happier and longer life.

First name *

This field is required.

Last name *